Are Your Needs Being Met in Your Marriage? Discover 10 Basic Needs in a Relationship

Are You Getting What You Need from Your Partner?

When a relationship feels off balance, it’s often because core needs and wants aren’t being fulfilled. These needs are the foundation of a healthy, thriving partnership.

Oftentimes we go around in silence feeling disappointed that our needs aren’t being met by our partner. Or we fight about silly things that never really get to the heart of the matter. Find a time when you can tell your partner what you need so that they can really hear and understand what you need. Be authentic. Your partner is not a mind reader even though you may think that they should be.

Let’s explore the top 10 relationship needs and wants to help you better understand what might be missing in your relationship.

If you feel like these needs aren’t being met, licensed Glendora, California Marriage and Family Therapist Ilissa Banhazl, MFT, can help. She specializes in guiding couples to rediscover connection and fulfillment through virtual telehealth counseling sessions available to California residents.

10 Basic Needs and Wants in a Relationship

1. Encouragement
Actively supporting your partner by expressing positive affirmations, recognizing their efforts, and providing a sense of confidence and belief in them helps to strengthen the bond and foster a healthier dynamic within the relationship

2. Emotional Support & Help
Feeling understood and validated is key to emotional intimacy. Partners who actively listen and offer empathy, along with help when needed, whether emotionally or helping with household chores, helps strengthen their bond.

3. Communication
Open, honest, and respectful conversations foster trust and mutual understanding, making it easier to resolve conflicts.

4. Trust
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Consistency, honesty, and reliability are essential for building and maintaining trust.

5. Intimacy, Affection and Sex
Intimacy, affection and sex are crucial components of a healthy relationship as they foster a deep emotional connection, build trust, enhance communication, and contribute to overall relationship satisfaction by providing a means to express love, affection, and vulnerability with your partner. Physical touch, whether through hugs, kisses, or holding hands, helps partners feel loved and connected.

6. Shared Goals and Values
Aligning on core values and future goals creates a sense of partnership and long-term compatibility.

7. Quality Time & Romance
Spending meaningful time together and making your partner feel loved through romantic gestures strengthens the emotional bond and keeps the relationship fresh and fun.

8. Respect and Appreciation
Respecting each other’s boundaries, opinions, and individuality along with regularly expressing gratitude and acknowledging each other’s contributions reinforces positivity in the relationship.

9. Personal Growth and Space
Encouraging each other to grow as individuals and creating space for each other to pursue hobbies and dreams helps maintain a healthy balance between independence and togetherness.

10. Conflict Resolution
Healthy conflict resolution ensures that disagreements lead to growth rather than resentment.

“When a person’s needs aren’t being met it begins to chip away at the relationship”. –Ilissa Banhazl, MFT

Talk to one another. Don’t be afraid to ask for something. Your partner can say yes or no so why not just ask for what you want?. Then you can have a discussion that will help you to understand why your partner is the way they are and what their needs are. Compassion and understanding go a long way in relationships. But so does assertiveness. Ask! Tell!

Sometimes we need to learn skills to have these kinds of conversations with our partner. Perhaps some marriage and couples therapy sessions could support you in expressing your needs to your partner.

Support is just a phone call away. Get your needs met today!