If you find that communicating with your partner about difficult topics spirals into an argument, discussing your issues with a licensed couples therapist might be helpful for you.
Handling difficult topics in online couples therapy requires sensitivity, effective communication, and a structured approach. Here are five ways to manage these conversations.
Come Prepared with a Topic to Discuss and Establish Ground Rules for Communication:
Before diving into difficult topics, it’s crucial to set ground rules. This includes agreeing no interrupting, using “I” statements to express feelings, and avoiding blame. In couples therapy, I emphasize the importance of creating a safe space where both partners feel heard and respected.
Use Structured Interventions:
Structured interventions, such as the Imago Dialogue or Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) techniques, can help facilitate productive discussions. These methods guide couples in expressing their emotions and needs constructively. I often utilize these techniques to help couples navigate sensitive issues and enhance their emotional connection.
Choose Your Highest Priority and Focus on the Present and Future:
In therapy, I encourage couples to focus on the present and future rather than rehashing past grievances. This approach helps them to work on solutions and improvements for their highest priorities rather than getting stuck in a cycle of blame. Therapists can guide the conversation to stay forward-looking and solution-oriented.
I will ask you to use the skills you’ve learned working with me to discuss your issue in session, including Normalizing and Validating Emotions: Validating each partner’s feelings is essential in managing difficult conversations. Acknowledge that it’s normal to have strong emotions about certain topics and that both partners’ feelings are valid. This validation helps reduce defensiveness and fosters empathy.
Encourage Breaks When Needed:
If a conversation becomes too heated or unproductive, I will interject only when I feel your communication is not effective at that moment and will suggest pausing or taking a break. This allows both partners to cool down and reflect on their thoughts and feelings before continuing. Regular breaks can prevent escalation and help maintain a constructive dialogue. I will gently say pause and you will have the opportunity to repeat what you said but in a way that your partner can take in what you are saying.
By implementing these strategies, couples can navigate challenging topics more effectively in online therapy sessions.
CALIFORNIA ONLINE COUPLES THERAPY
If you think this technique might work for you because you’ve tried discussing important topics with your partner at home without much success, then look into couple’s counseling. As a Licensed, experienced California couples therapist, I’m currently accepting new clients and I can be reached at (626) 664-5924 or click link below to contact me.
